Ever wonder what all those advertising terms really mean?
NEW - Different color from previous design.
ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.
FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.
REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.
BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.
MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.
SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.
HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.
"A number of different approaches are being tried."
(We are still grasping at straws.)
"Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured."
(We are so far behind schedule the customer should be happy
just to get it delivered.)
"Test results were extremely gratifying."
(We were so surprised that the stupid thing worked.)
"The entire concept will have to be abandoned."
(The only person who understood the thing, quit.)
"We'll look into it."
(Forget it! We have enough problems for now.)
"Please read and initial."
(Let's spread the responsibility around for the mistakes.)
"Rugged."
(Too heavy to lift!)
"Lightweight."
(Lighter than rugged.)
"Energy saving."
(When the power switch is off.)
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