Showing posts with label FUN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FUN. Show all posts
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
FUN - jokes on marriage, husband & wife
check this outtttt!!
JUST SOME REASONZ .... . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........................
1) Worries Invited For Ever abbrivated as WIFE
2) Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous
3) Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde
4) Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
5) I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -Sam Kinison
6) Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken
7) Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
8) Marriage is a three ring circus: -engagement ring --wedding ring ---suffering
9) When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
10) Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
11) When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
12) I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back ... ..
13) She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
14) A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
15) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. --Agatha Christie
JUST SOME REASONZ .... . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........................
1) Worries Invited For Ever abbrivated as WIFE
2) Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous
3) Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde
4) Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
5) I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -Sam Kinison
6) Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken
7) Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
8) Marriage is a three ring circus: -engagement ring --wedding ring ---suffering
9) When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
10) Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
11) When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
12) I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back ... ..
13) She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
14) A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
15) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. --Agatha Christie
Witty Words of Wisdom
Witty Words of Wisdom
=====================
Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in
the middle of it.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
and some days you're the statue.
Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
Drive carefully.
It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
If you eat a live toad in the morning, you can just about be
guaranteed nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of
the day.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never eat yellow snow.
Never pet a burning dog.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school,
you'll be working for them in the future.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
=====================
Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in
the middle of it.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
and some days you're the statue.
Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
Drive carefully.
It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
If you eat a live toad in the morning, you can just about be
guaranteed nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of
the day.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.
Never buy a car you can't push.
Never eat yellow snow.
Never pet a burning dog.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school,
you'll be working for them in the future.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
FUN: Question & Answers
Scroll down for the correct answers.
1. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA and Canada,
where should the survivors be buried?
2. How many species of each animal did Moses take aboard The Ark?
3. How many months have 28 days?
4. How far can a bear walk into the woods?
5. What is the value of coin dated 24 B.C.?
6. How many grooves does a 45rpm phonograph record have?
7. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then 1 mile
east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 mile north to
arrive at her camp. What color is the bear?
8. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof, will the egg
roll to the left side or to the right side?
9. If a south bound electric train is traveling at a rate of 66
miles per hour and the wind is blowing to the north at 35 miles
per hour, which way will the smoke blow?
10. On which side of a chicken are the most feathers?
ANSWERS:
1. You don't bury survivors.
2. Moses didn't have an Ark, Noah did.
3. All twelve of them.
4. Half way, then he is walking out of the woods.
5. Nothing, a coin could not be dated BC.
6. One (spiraling) on each side.
7. The camp must be at the north pole, therefore the bear is white.
8. Roosters don't lay eggs, chickens do.
9. Electric trains don't blow smoke.
10. The outside.
1. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA and Canada,
where should the survivors be buried?
2. How many species of each animal did Moses take aboard The Ark?
3. How many months have 28 days?
4. How far can a bear walk into the woods?
5. What is the value of coin dated 24 B.C.?
6. How many grooves does a 45rpm phonograph record have?
7. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then 1 mile
east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 mile north to
arrive at her camp. What color is the bear?
8. If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof, will the egg
roll to the left side or to the right side?
9. If a south bound electric train is traveling at a rate of 66
miles per hour and the wind is blowing to the north at 35 miles
per hour, which way will the smoke blow?
10. On which side of a chicken are the most feathers?
ANSWERS:
1. You don't bury survivors.
2. Moses didn't have an Ark, Noah did.
3. All twelve of them.
4. Half way, then he is walking out of the woods.
5. Nothing, a coin could not be dated BC.
6. One (spiraling) on each side.
7. The camp must be at the north pole, therefore the bear is white.
8. Roosters don't lay eggs, chickens do.
9. Electric trains don't blow smoke.
10. The outside.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Software comedy - English Telugu kashtalu.....
Nice comedy... A software employees early days... funnily put in Telugu
http://manonetram.blogspot.com/2009/11/blog-post.html
http://manonetram.blogspot.com/2009/11/blog-post.html
Monday, February 9, 2009
[FUN} BILL GATES RAMAYAN [ CYBER RAMAYANAM ]
LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named
DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens
gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs--RAM, LSIman,BUG-rat and SEDrughana.
RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY. His brothers, however,
were only PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess 'C'ta.
12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor.
However,Queen CIE/CAE(Kayekayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat
for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity at the instigation of
her BIOSed maid (a real plotter), and insisted that her son Bug-rat be
INSTALLED and that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14 years.
At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed through DOS-rat and he
kollapsed, power-less. RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to
LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING IN with his
brother. The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR of
RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that
he marry her. RAM, politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to be the SOURCE CODE
of her distress, she hastened to kill her. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka,
where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SISTOR's plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha.
MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself into the form of a golden stag and drew RAM deep
into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last
breath, cried out resperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this
VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, 'C'ta urged LSI-man to his brother's aid.
Catching the opportunity,RAW-van DELINKED 'C'ta from her LIBRARY and changed her
ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.
-------------------
INTERVAL
-------------------
RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing 'C'ta all over the forest.
They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his
powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed to help RAM. SU-greev ordered
his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful 'SEARCH' techniques to FIND the missing 'C'ta.
His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to
'EXCITE' the birds and animals not to forget the 'WEBCRAWLERS' (Insects) and
tried to 'INFO SEEK' something about 'C'ta. Some of them even shouted YAA-HOO'
but they all ended up with 'NOT FOUND MESSAGES'. Several other SEARCH techniques
proved useless.
Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing
CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. After doing some local
SEARCH, Ha-NEUMAN found 'C'ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE. Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID
(ring) to identify himself to 'C'ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, 'C'ta believed in him
and asked him to send a 'STATUS_OK' MESSAGE to RAM. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGSaround
'C'ta captured Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE him using pyro-techniques. But Ha-NEUMAN
managed to spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS 'Fire'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESCAPE
from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.
RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle.
One of the RAW-wan's SUN (son) almost DELETED RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra.
But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients and REFORMATTED RAM and LSI-man. RAM
used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on earth.
After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his MICROSOFT WORKS and other
USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every one lived happily everafter.
DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens
gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs--RAM, LSIman,BUG-rat and SEDrughana.
RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY. His brothers, however,
were only PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess 'C'ta.
12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor.
However,Queen CIE/CAE(Kayekayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat
for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity at the instigation of
her BIOSed maid (a real plotter), and insisted that her son Bug-rat be
INSTALLED and that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14 years.
At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed through DOS-rat and he
kollapsed, power-less. RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to
LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING IN with his
brother. The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR of
RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that
he marry her. RAM, politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to be the SOURCE CODE
of her distress, she hastened to kill her. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka,
where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SISTOR's plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha.
MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself into the form of a golden stag and drew RAM deep
into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last
breath, cried out resperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this
VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, 'C'ta urged LSI-man to his brother's aid.
Catching the opportunity,RAW-van DELINKED 'C'ta from her LIBRARY and changed her
ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.
-------------------
INTERVAL
-------------------
RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing 'C'ta all over the forest.
They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his
powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed to help RAM. SU-greev ordered
his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful 'SEARCH' techniques to FIND the missing 'C'ta.
His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to
'EXCITE' the birds and animals not to forget the 'WEBCRAWLERS' (Insects) and
tried to 'INFO SEEK' something about 'C'ta. Some of them even shouted YAA-HOO'
but they all ended up with 'NOT FOUND MESSAGES'. Several other SEARCH techniques
proved useless.
Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing
CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. After doing some local
SEARCH, Ha-NEUMAN found 'C'ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE. Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID
(ring) to identify himself to 'C'ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, 'C'ta believed in him
and asked him to send a 'STATUS_OK' MESSAGE to RAM. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGSaround
'C'ta captured Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE him using pyro-techniques. But Ha-NEUMAN
managed to spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS 'Fire'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESCAPE
from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.
RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle.
One of the RAW-wan's SUN (son) almost DELETED RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra.
But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients and REFORMATTED RAM and LSI-man. RAM
used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on earth.
After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his MICROSOFT WORKS and other
USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every one lived happily everafter.
Monday, January 19, 2009
[FUN] Satyam fun
NEW DELHI: Satyam Computer founder B Ramalinga Raju may have left the company after disclosing India's biggest ever corporate fraud, leaving thousands of employees, lakhs of shareholders and hundreds of customers in lurch but many are having a good laugh at his expense.
From parodies of nursery rhymes to funny SMSes, chain-mails and cartoons, everthing is full of jokes lampooning Raju. While some are saying that 'Satyamisation' has become a synonym for inflating profits, others finding it tough to get a job because of bad reputation of their employers are feeling 'Satyamised'.
The popular nursery rhyme, 'Johny, Johny, Yes Papa' has made way for "Raju Raju, Yes Baba, Cheating us, No Baba, Telling Lies, No Baba, Open your accounts, Ha Ha Ha".
Another rhyme, 'Humpty Dumpty, sat on a wall" has been popularised even more with its Raju version: "Raju Raju sat up on the wall, Raju Raju had a great fall, Balance sheet died, shareholders cried, Raju Raju made a big fraud."
An SMS doing the rounds has a new full-form for Satyam: 'Stealing And Transferring Your All Money'.
One message points towards famous film-maker Ram Gopal Verma preparing to make a movie on the Satyam saga: It goes on to say that Varma, who was sighted inside Taj Hotel, Mumbai, after terror attacks there, was seen at Satyam headquarters in Hyderabad last week.
An age-old TV commercial of a toothpaste has also been pulled out due to a Raju connection. In its new avatar, Masterji says, "Raju tumhare daant toh motiyo se chamak rahe hain? (Raju, your teeth are sparkling like pearls), to which Raju replies "Chamke kyu na? maine apni hi company ka paisa jo khaaya hai (Why wont they sparkle, I have gobbled up my own firm's money). PTI
An article on GreatAndhra.com
Friday, January 2, 2009
[fun] GHAJINI - the real life one....
Girls - this mail is not for you. by chance if you get this, please do not continue to read... otherwise you've to realise the hard fact!!
If "GHAJINI" is villain in the movie, who is the real-life GHAJINI? Any guesses...??
Yes, Its WIFE!!!!!!!!! & for those unmarried, its your GirlFriend..>*#@%&*&$(#^$!$(!*$()
http://www.saakshi.co.in/
If "GHAJINI" is villain in the movie, who is the real-life GHAJINI? Any guesses...??
Yes, Its WIFE!!!!!!!!! & for those unmarried, its your GirlFriend..>*#@%&*&$(#^$!$(!*$()
http://www.saakshi.co.in/
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
[FUN] When Re 1/- becomes $100 this is how it looks
When Re 1/- becomes $100 this is how it looks
Alex : Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?
John : Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.
John : Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.
Alex : Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.
John : Yeah, but I managed to get it.
Alex : How long it took to get it stamped?
John : Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and they played with him like anything. Thats why it got delayed. I went there at 2 am itself and waited and returned by 4 pm.
Alex : Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA.
John : Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming.
Alex : So, when are you leaving?
John : Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.
Alex : How long are you going to stay in India?
John : What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India, my company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta.
Alex : Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India.
John : Yeah, thats why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.
Alex : But you can find lots of US girls in Bangalore,Hyderabad and Mumbai.
John : But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.
Alex : Where did you get the offer, Bangalore?
John : Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is Rs. 1000/- for a single room accommodation.
Alex : I see, that's too much for US people, Rs.1/- = $ 100/-. Oh God!What about in Chennai, Mumbai?
John : No idea, but it is less than what we have in Bangalore. It is like the world headquarters of Software.
Alex : I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for help.
John : You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less than Rs. 7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.200000/- but has got a sexy design.
Alex : By the way, who is your client?
John : A pure Indian company, specializing in Embedded Software.
Alex : Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their Fly-by-night outfits in India. Indian companies pay you in full even when you are on bench. My friend Paul Allen, it seems,used his bench time to visit Bihar,the most livable place in India, probably world. There you have full freedom and no restrictions.You can do whatever you want! ! I wonder how that state has perfected that system.
John : Yeah man, you are right. I hope our America also follows their footsteps.
Alex : How are you going to cope with their language?
John : Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first language here at New York.At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent percent score in TOHIL i.e.Test ofHindi as International Language.
Alex : So, you are going to have fun there.
John : Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest train, world's largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors like, Hrithik, and all. And dont forget superstar Chiranjeevi and his style.
Alex : You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year,he may then relax the number of visas.
John : That's true. Last month, Narayanamurthy visited White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for in! frastructure development at Silicon Valley and has promised more if we follow the model of Silicon City of Bangalore. Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.
Alex : But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy's Infosys.
John : He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all his money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto.
Alex : OK, Good Luck John.
John : Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a Kurta Pyjama because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will ever come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get ejected. But don't forget to say "Namaste, aap kaise hai" to the Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don't greet him that way.
Monday, December 22, 2008
[fun] Why Bill Gates was ready to SELL OFF Microsoft
Why Bill Gates SOLD OFF Microsoft
Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I
find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?
[fun] Funny Dictionary
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master
DIVORCE:
Future Tense
of Marriage
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before
CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read
SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life
YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth
ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do
COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together
EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes
ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead
DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip
OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river
OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY
MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!
FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature
CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught
BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early
POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later
DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
[fun] Global financial crisis / recession and its impact
Global financial crisis / recession and its impact:
Sunday, December 14, 2008
[FUN] R.NarayanMurthy telugu song in next movie ..On S.Engineer
R. Narayana Murthy's song in next movie and its name is "Vykunta Paali".
which is about s/w and in that movie he will be playing IT professional and who will lose his job because of recession.
Emunnadakko ooo emunnadakkaaa…
Potta perigipoi..juttu ralipoi…vunna paruvu poi..
ee industry lo nakinka
emunnadi akko.. emunnadi akko emunnadi akka..
B.Tech chesi naaka (saami)
Hyderabad cherukunnaa(saami)
Experience adugutunteeeee aa aaaa aaaav
Experience adugunte, enta kaavali ante anta petti, job kottina, join ayyina banchaaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Training lu ivvaka paye (saami)
Client interaction annadu (saami)
Communication baledu ante a aaa aaaa
Communication baledu ante, kumili kumili edichina, hindu paper veyinchinaa banchaaaaaan
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project ichundu vaadu(saami)
Payslip kuda vachindi(saami)
Payslip chupinchiiii. a a a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaa
Payslip chupinchina, credit card teesukunna, avasaram lenivi anni konna appula palu ainaaa banchhaann…
(Emunnadi akko..)
Project aipoindiii(saami)
Kottadi vastadi annadu (saami)
Bench lo pettundu aaaaa a aa aaaaaaa
Bench lo pettinaaka subject marichipoina, o roju na HR pilusundu poi kalisina banchaann….
(Emunnadi akko..)
Boom taggindi annadu (saami)
Cost cutting annadu (saami)..
Benchlo vunna ani cheppiii aaaaaa a a a a aaaaa
Bench lo vunna ani cheppi bayatiki tosundu kompa kulchundu banchaaannn…
(Emunnadi akko..)
J J
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
[FUN] How to Make a Women Happy!!!
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
www.saakshi.co.in
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a phsiotherapist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. One Small Smile
Saturday, November 1, 2008
[FUN] - Advertising Terms -2
Contn....
Ever wonder what all those advertising terms really mean?
Ever wonder what all those advertising terms really mean?
NEW - Different color from previous design.
ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.
FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.
REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.
BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.
MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.
SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.
HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.
"A number of different approaches are being tried."
(We are still grasping at straws.)
"Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured."
(We are so far behind schedule the customer should be happy
just to get it delivered.)
"Test results were extremely gratifying."
(We were so surprised that the stupid thing worked.)
"The entire concept will have to be abandoned."
(The only person who understood the thing, quit.)
"We'll look into it."
(Forget it! We have enough problems for now.)
"Please read and initial."
(Let's spread the responsibility around for the mistakes.)
"Rugged."
(Too heavy to lift!)
"Lightweight."
(Lighter than rugged.)
"Energy saving."
(When the power switch is off.)
[FUN] - Advertising Terms
Ever wonder what all those advertising terms really mean?
NEW - Different color from previous design.
ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
[FUN] Why India is in trouble?
Why INDIA is in trouble?
Population: 100 crore
9 crore retired
30 crore in state Govt
17 crore in central Govt
(Both Category don't work)
1 crore IT professional (don't work for India)
25 crore in school
1 crore r under 5 years
15 crore unemployed
1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals
Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail
The Balance two are U & Me.
U are busy ' checking Mails /sending fwds.. '..!!
HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
[FUN] Ultimate truth (Nice Mail)
( Uncanny-but true !)
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.
|
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.
Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker --
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
[FUN] Smartness of words...
1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Long back,
a person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
fogot laughter were called
"Saints"
But now they are called..
"IT professionals"
2 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:
" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my galfriend has fallen off"
3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..
Its just that,
One loves too much,
and
The other loves too many,
4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!
5 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new
and
Just few hours left for your exams..!
7 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jus4Fun
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
8 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..! How about this card, it says "To the only Girl I ever loved.!"
Boy: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
9 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...
..... Leave them to us
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, October 16, 2008
[FUN] HELISOFT
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
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