Cool forwards, Jokes, quotes, inspirational articles etc.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

[Plz read] Real Story - Happened in Bangalore, Must read

Real Story - Happened in Bangalore, Must read

If you know some one staying in B'glore let them know this. If you are in b'lore, do go through this story COZ, its a real one.

Read this true story... and let everybody you know in and around Bangalore especially Bannerghatta Road ......

My friend lives in Malleshwaram... One day he went to Bannerghatta Road to visit his uncle for some days as his parents had to attend a wedding in Coimbatore. One evening he and some other of my college friends went to Yellahanka for a movie.

He had so much fun that he forgot that it's very late. He caught the last local bus to Bannerghatta Road ..... he reached Bannerghatta Road around midnight......

He had to walk about a mile from the bus stop to home....As he was walking alone, he could sense that the night felt very creepy as it was so dark. While walking, he was stonished to See an old creepy looking guy selling some books. It was a very unusual thing to see a thing like that.....

It got the shivers ! on him when he noticed that his old guy is unusually pale and staring at him...
The old guy said "Son why don't you get a book...it would keep you company".

Then he did something which he would regret for the rest of his life .........

My friend started to act brave & thought why not & had a look at his collections... My friend's hair started to rise up as he noticed that all the books were related to supernatural activities...but he found one that was very interesting.So he asked the old man "how much is it, uncle?"....

The old guy replied, "Well son...this is an interesting book...it's only for Rs 250.

My friend was shocked and said "but...but... it's expensive"
This time the old man stared which freaked my friend.

My friend quickly checked all his pockets & found Rs.200 & said "This is all I have." The old guy replied "It's OK son ...you can have the book for that price"

As ! my friend was just about to run for home...the old man called back & said "Son ... whatever happen, you don't ever flip the book to it's last page... remember these words or you would regret...!!!!!"

My friend nodded and never looked back .. Reaching home...he quickly asked his Uncle whether there was any new old book seller nearby? The Uncle replied "not that I know of but ..we've heard that there's 1 old man comes once in a while during full moon nights but heard that there is something creepy about it...why son?"

My friend freaked out... he told his uncle "nothing uncle...just asking". He started reading the book with the old man's words on his mind.. At night, 12 0'clock, as he went to bed, a gush of wind
blew which chilled him up to his bones. At that glimpse, he noticed the wind had blown the pages to its last page. He remembered what the old man has said! But we humans tend to have the tendency to know. Out of curiosity, he flipped to the last page & fainted... What he saw at the last page is stated below:

Don't look further down if you have a weak heart warn you

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Original price:-- Rs. 20/-

Promotion price:-- Rs. 10/-

[FUN] When Re 1/- becomes $100 this is how it looks

When Re 1/- becomes $100 this is how it looks
 
Alex : Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?
John : Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.

Alex : Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.
John : Yeah, but I managed to get it.

Alex : How long it took to get it stamped?
John : Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and they played with him like anything. Thats why it got delayed. I went there at 2 am itself and waited and returned by 4 pm.

Alex : Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA.
John : Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming.

Alex : So, when are you leaving?
John : Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.

Alex : How long are you going to stay in India?
John : What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India, my company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta.

Alex : Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India.
John : Yeah, thats why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.

Alex : But you can find lots of US girls in Bangalore,Hyderabad and Mumbai.
John : But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.

Alex : Where did you get the offer, Bangalore?
John : Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is Rs. 1000/- for a single room accommodation.

Alex : I see, that's too much for US people, Rs.1/- = $ 100/-. Oh God!What about in Chennai, Mumbai?
John : No idea, but it is less than what we have in Bangalore. It is like the world headquarters of Software.

Alex : I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for help.
John : You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less than Rs. 7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.200000/- but has got a sexy design.

Alex : By the way, who is your client?
John : A pure Indian company, specializing in Embedded Software.

Alex : Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their Fly-by-night outfits in India. Indian companies pay you in full even when you are on bench. My friend Paul Allen, it seems,used his bench time to visit Bihar,the most livable place in India, probably world. There you have full freedom and no restrictions.You can do whatever you want! ! I wonder how that state has perfected that system.

John : Yeah man, you are right. I hope our America also follows their footsteps.

Alex : How are you going to cope with their language?
John : Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first language here at New York.At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent percent score in TOHIL i.e.Test ofHindi as International Language.

Alex : So, you are going to have fun there.
John : Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest train, world's largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors like, Hrithik, and all. And dont forget superstar Chiranjeevi and his style.

Alex : You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year,he may then relax the number of visas.
John : That's true. Last month, Narayanamurthy visited White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for in! frastructure development at Silicon Valley and has promised more if we follow the model of Silicon City of Bangalore. Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.

Alex : But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy's Infosys.
John : He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all his money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto.

Alex : OK, Good Luck John.
John : Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a Kurta Pyjama because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will ever come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get ejected. But don't forget to say "Namaste, aap kaise hai" to the Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don't greet him that way.

 

Monday, December 22, 2008

[health] Health tips

 

Health - Important Tips  

Answer the phone by
LEFT  ear 
Do not drink coffee
TWICE
 a day
Do not take pills with
COOL water  

Do not have
HUGE meals after 5pm
Reduce the amount of
OILY
 food you consume
Drink more
WATER 
in the morning, less at night
Keep your distance from hand phone
CHARGERS 

Do not use headphones/earphone for
LONG
 period of time
Best sleeping time is from
10pm at night to 6am
 in the morning
Do not lie down immediately after taking
medicine
 before sleeping
When battery is down to the
LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times  


Forward this to those whom you
CARE about

 

 



 


[fun] Why Bill Gates was ready to SELL OFF Microsoft

Why Bill Gates SOLD OFF Microsoft

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
 


Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems,  which I want to bring to your notice.


1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.                                                  

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run'   he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.
                                                                   
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I
find    only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button,  but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not
   even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
                                                                   
9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
                                                                   
10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not provide   'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my  office hours.
                                                               
Regards,
                                                                   
Banta
                                                             
Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

[fun] Funny Dictionary

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!
 

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

DIVORCE:
Future Tense
of Marriage

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read

SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life

YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth

ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do

COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together

EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes

ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead

DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river

OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY

MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature

CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught

BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later

DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you

[joke] Email Heights

HEIGHT OF REPETITION: Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email forwarded back to you by someone in the receiving chain.

HEIGHT OF ISOLATION: Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.

HEIGHT OF COWARDICE: Two persons fighting through emails.

HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS: Receiving no emails for a week.

HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION: The email server being down.

HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS: Writing an intimate email and doing a 'Reply All.'

HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT: A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply.

HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS: A person sending email to himself.

Friday, December 19, 2008

[Plz read] A Blog Posted by Singapore 's Youngest Millionaire!

A Blog Posted by Singapore 's Youngest Millionaire!
 By Adam Khoo |
 
 Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia,  Indonesia , Thailand and Suzhou ( China ). I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my  seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather  shocked.. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is  travelling  economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a
 millionaire'. He still looked  pretty confused. This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about  wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self Made  Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that  millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit in first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich  because the moment that earn more money, they think that it is only  natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.
 
 The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on  what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate  and multiply their wealth so much faster. Over the last 7 years, I have  saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I  have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it  is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky).  I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I  think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I
 happily pay $1,300  to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without  thinking twice.
 
 When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Organization) a few years back  (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m
 a year in their own business) I discovered that those who were self-made  thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5m, travelled  economy class and some even drove Toyotas and Nissans (not Audis, Mercs,  BMWs).
 
 I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their  own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the  club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have  to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is  precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely
 lasts past the third generation. Thank God my rich dad (oh no! I sound  like Kiyosaki) foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a  cent to start my business.
 
 Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you  don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying  branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying  something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.  Material happiness never lasts; it just gives you a quick fix. After a  while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think  will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to  make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life.
 
 Instead, what makes ME happy is when I see my children laughing and  playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see by  companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many  more countries. What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails  about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.
 What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how  this BLOG is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a  long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.
 
 I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from  doing your life's work (be in teaching, building homes, designing,  trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a  by-product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn  to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a  meaningless life.
 
 

Thursday, December 18, 2008

[Plz read] Leadership

Where there is light there are also shadows. What I mean is that your greatest gifts bring with them a dark side, of sorts. People who demand nothing less than excellence carry with them the shadows of being difficult. People who have the gift of getting things done with speed are also prone to being impatient. People who are exceedingly kind sometimes run into problems setting boundaries and caring for themselves. It's just a natural law of leadership: the best within us brings with it some challenges we simply need to manage.

So here's my gentle suggestion: rather than trying to eliminate your "weaknesses", understand that they are the mirror side of your genius. Embrace them and manage them. Because what we resist will persist but what we befriend we will transcend.

And where you see shadows, a ton of light must be nearby. And that's a very good thing for you.
 
 

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

[joke] Climax of a movie about cricket [bolly, kolly & tolly ishtyle]

Bollywood

Shahrukh ,the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball........ .......

Bowler bowls it and Shahrukh glides it to 3rd man......... .....the ball goes to boundary line Shahrukh runs for 3 runs, fielder throws at non-striker it misses the stumps and goes for over-throw, ShahRukh runs again for 3 , this time fielder tactic fully throws at Keepers end, Keeper Misses it goes for a 4 runs. In the background Vande Mathram....

Shahruk WINS the match....... ......... ......... ......... .

 
Kollywood

Rajini the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball........ .......

Bowler bowls it and Rajini hits with tremendous power....... .......the ball goes far away  and UMPIRES are forced to give 12 runs for that.

Rajini WINS the match....... ......... ......... ......... .

 
And finally Tollywood and our very own Balayya....

Balayya, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball........ .......

Bowler bowls it and Balayya hits with tremendous power....... .......the ball splits into "TWO"

1 half goes to SIX.....The other half goes to FOUR........ .....

Balayya WINS the match....... ......... ......... ......... .
 
 

[joke] INDIAN SALESMAN

INDIAN SALESMAN
"""""""""""""""""""""""""

The Manager says: "Do you have any sales experience?"
The Indian says: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in India."
Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
Indian boy says: "Sir, Just ONE sale."
The boss says: "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day." If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?"
Indian boy says: " $101 237. 64"
Boss says: "$101 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?"
Indian boy says: "Sir, First I sell him small fishhook.
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he'll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then ask him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"
Indian boy says: "No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind." ...

[fun] Global financial crisis / recession and its impact

Global financial crisis / recession and its impact:


www.saakshi.co.in
www.saakshi.co.in

www.saakshi.co.in


www.saakshi.co.in











Monday, December 15, 2008

[info] Cricket scores on your mobile at the cost of normal SMS

Cricket scores on your mobile at the cost of normal SMS
 
SMS 'cri' to 9-77-33-00000
 
Google SMS Search
 
 
 

[info] Get Train PNR Status @ Mobile free


Indian Railway in collaboration with Google is now providing a 10 digit mobile number. Just SMS your PNR number on this mobile number and instantaneously you will get your ticket's current status along with all other journey related details.
 
The number is 9773300000. No need to prefix 0 or +91.

Best of all, you don't pay a premium charge for any of this, just the price of a standard SMS.

For more details: http://www.google.co.in/mobile/default/sms/#
 

www.saakshi.co.in

 

Sunday, December 14, 2008

[FUN] R.NarayanMurthy telugu song in next movie ..On S.Engineer

R. Narayana Murthy's song in next movie and its name is "Vykunta Paali".
which is about s/w and in that movie he will be playing IT professional and who will lose his job because of recession.

 
 
Emunnadakko ooo emunnadakkaaa…

Potta perigipoi..juttu ralipoi…vunna paruvu poi..

ee industry lo nakinka
emunnadi akko.. emunnadi akko emunnadi akka..

 
 
B.Tech chesi naaka (saami)

Hyderabad cherukunnaa(saami)

Experience adugutunteeeee aa aaaa aaaav

Experience adugunte, enta kaavali ante anta petti, job kottina, join ayyina banchaaaaaaa
n
 
 
(Emunnadi akko..)

 
Training lu ivvaka paye (saami)

Client interaction  annadu (saami)

Communication baledu ante a aaa aaaa

Communication baledu ante, kumili kumili edichina, hindu paper veyinchinaa banchaaaaaa
n
 
(Emunnadi akko..)

 
Project ichundu vaadu(saami)

Payslip kuda vachindi(saami)

Payslip chupinchiiii.  a   a a a  a  a aaaaaaaaaaaa

Payslip chupinchina, credit card teesukunna, avasaram lenivi anni konna appula palu ainaaa banchhaa
nn
 
(Emunnadi akko..)

 
Project aipoindiii(saami)

Kottadi vastadi annadu (saami)

Bench lo pettundu aaaaa   a aa    aaaaaaa

Bench lo pettinaaka subject marichipoina, o roju na  HR pilusundu poi kalisina banchaa
nn….
 
(Emunnadi akko..)

 
Boom taggindi annadu (saami)

Cost cutting annadu  (saami)..

Benchlo vunna ani cheppiii aaaaaa a  a a a aaaaa

Bench lo vunna ani cheppi bayatiki tosundu kompa kulchundu banchaaa
nnn
 
 
(Emunnadi akko..)

 

J J

 www.saakshi.co.in

 

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

[quotes] Some Funny T-Shirt (tee) Quotations

You Lost Me At Hello

There Must Be Something Wrong With You.

It takes a nation two centuries to build a pyramid, but it only takes one person two seconds to mess up traffic.

I'm not a complete idiot. You complete me.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be in heaven.

Damn, I'm Good!

I used to have a handle on life, then I flew off.

It took me 70 years to look this good.

Women are like buses. Once one runs you down, there'll be another along, to do the same, in a few minutes.

Somebody's boring me ... I think it's me.

Kiss Me Before My Boyfriend Comes Back

The Worst Vice Is ADVICE

I'm A Virgin  (this is an old shirt)

The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
 

[quotes] 101 Famous Funny/Clever Quotes

You can use these on your T-Shirts (Tees as well)
 
1. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance - Oscar Wilde
 
2. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison
 
3. Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. Brendan Gill
 
4. The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson
 
5. Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together. - Georg Lichtenberg
 
6. If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
 
7. As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent. Socrates
 
8. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
 
9. Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. Mae West
 
10. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Oscar Wilde
 
11. An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. Gandhi
 
12. He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. Lao Tsu
 
13. Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting. Billy Rose
 
14. A rich man's joke is always funny. Proverb
 
15. Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river. Cordel Hull
 
16. When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes. Dylan Thomas
 
17. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
Winston Churchill
 
18. Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance. William Shakespeare
 
19. A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. Oscar Wilde
 
20. There are three faithful friends—an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin
 
21. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Oscar Wilde
 
22. I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde
 
23. To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times. Mark Twain
 
24. Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
Martin Luther King
 
25. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein
 
26. Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. Franklin P. Jones
 
27. What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. Richard Harkness
 
28. Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Gandhi
 
29. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
Franklin P. Jones
 
30. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should
have been more specific. Jane Wagner
 
31. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. Oscar Wilde
 
32. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
 
33. Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake
when you make it again. F. P. Jones
 
34. "Sure, everyone always said 'Socrates what is the meaning of life?' or
'Socrates how can I find happiness?', did anyone ever say 'Socrates
hemlock is poison.'???????" Socrates right before his death
 
35. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West
 
36. The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is
generally employed only by small children and large nations. David Friedman
 
37. We must become the change we want to see. Gandhi
 
38. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. W. C. Fields
 
39. The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...' Isaac Asimov
 
40. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. Martin Luther King
 
41. Do just once what others say you can't do and you will never pay attention to their limitations again. James R. Cook
 
42. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
--Albert Einstein
 
43. Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
--Albert Einstein
 
44. Its not whether you get knocked down. Its whether you get up again.
-Vince Lombardi
 
45. Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. -Eleanor Roosevelt
 
46. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon Bonaparte
 
47. Don't be so humble - you are not that great. - Golda Meir
 
48. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard
 
49. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. - Albert Einstein
 
50. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein
 
51. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. - Sir Winston Churchill
 
52. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. -
Galileo Galilei
 
53. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. - Jan van de Snepscheut
 
54. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson
 
55. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos
 
56. If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance. - George Bernard Shaw
 
57. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. - Napoleon Bonaparte
 
58. Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. - H. G. Wells
 
59. Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
 
60. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown
 
61. If you are going through hell, keep going. - Sir Winston Churchill
 
62. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire
 
63. Facts are the enemy of truth. - Don Quixote
 
64. We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi
 
65. All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce
 
66. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
 
67. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. - Antoine de Saint Exupery
 
68. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. - Will Durant
 
69. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti
 
70. Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle
 
71. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. - Ambrose Bierce
 
72. It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. - Albert Einstein
 
73. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein
 
74. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. - Jean-Paul Sartre
 
75. When ideas fail, words come in very handy. - Goethe
 
76. If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Aristotle Onassis
 
77. I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde
 
78. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
 
79. Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. - Mark Twain
 
80. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain
 
81. Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. - Karl Wallenda
 
82. Well done is better than well said. - Benjamin Franklin
 
83. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. - Oscar Wilde
 
84. You must believe in free will; there is no choice. - Isaac Bashevis Singer
 
85. Be sincere; be brief; be seated. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
 
86. Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
 
87. From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. - Sir Winston Churchill
 
88. When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln
 
89. You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time. - Abraham Lincoln
 
90. A camel is a horse designed by committee. -Sir Alec Issigonis
 
91. Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open. - Sir James Dewar
 
92. Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill. - Danish proverb
 
93. Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. - Samuel Butler
 
94. If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. - Anatole France
 
95. Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. - Voltaire
 
96. A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost
 
97. The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment. - T. H. White
 
98. It's kind of fun to do the impossible. - Walt Disney
 
99. What orators lack in depth they make up for in length. - Charles de Secondat
 
100. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato
 
101. 640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates
 

Thursday, December 4, 2008

[Plz read] Facts about Govt.

An Olympic shooter wins Gold (only a game) & Govt. gives him 3 Cr + awards. Another shooter dies, fighting with terrorists, (saving the country and our lives) & Govt. pays his family 5 Lacks. Truly Great???????

 

www.saakshi.co.in

 

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

[joke] India Marriage - Short Jokes

1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

2.There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.

3.A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : " Wife wanted". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

7. "What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days." But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."

8."Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. " I'm very sick, would you please call me a vet?". "A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?" The husband replied. Because I work like a horse,live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow."